Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Two Weeks Down!

Mar 3
Day 14

Today’s Weight: 200.5
Total Loss: 12 lbs

I think I’m having trouble adjusting emotionally to this diet. When ANY food enters my mind, I immediately feel ‘deprived’ and then I notice I am ‘hungry’. Notice the order of the feelings?
First I feel deprived then I feel hungry. There is some interesting stuff here.

This diet is so limited. I do not mind the food I get and in fact enjoy most of it, but I don’t really get emotional comfort from it. I often finish my meal, can feel that my stomach is full, but still crave food. The remaining days of the diet stretch before me like a jail sentence. It is frightening to think what I will do when I am ‘freed’.

I know I am supposed to stay clear away from sugar and starches for the next 20 days, then there is a slow period of adding in…. Will my will-power survive this? I can only hope and pray. The carb addiction I have is strong and very driven by my emotions, fears, and anxiety. I keep bumping into these feelings and having to face them without my fix. It is eye opening.

If I don’t deal with the addiction, the dieting will only yield failure as it has so many times in the past.

Today went really well. I walked a lot and kept my energy fairly well. I feel positive and capable!

Lunch: tilapia, green beans, orange
Dinner: chicken, tomatoes, strawberries

I’m giving today a 3. The wedding cake and mints and nuts, looked good, but I felt quite distanced from them emotionally.

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